Wednesday, 29 December 2010

His eye is on the sparrow

A common sparrow by

Why should I feel discouraged
and why should the shadows come
Why should my heart feel lonely
and long for heaven and home

When Jesus is my portion
a constant friend is He
His eye is on the sparrow
and I know He watches over me
His eye is on the sparrow
and I know He watches over me

I sing because I'm happy

I sing because I'm free

His eye is on the sparrow
and I know He watches me
He watches me
His eye is on the sparrow
and I know He watches
I know He watches,
I know He watches me.

This is my fav song of the week, which is the OST for the movie Sister Act 2 , and I think this will be my theme song for 2011. A demain 2011! Come what may!

Wednesday, 22 December 2010

Can relationship between alpha female and beta male works?

taken from

One of my best friends brought this topic one day ( and I really thank her),  this is a very interesting topic for  modern , new breed women.
Using the word “alpha” and “beta” is inhumane of course, but we need to face it sometimes human behave like animal too instead of behaving like homo sapiens.  Okay, let’s begin with comprehension, what is alpha personality? In a pack of wolf, the alpha is the one who has the privilege to eat first and to mate first among the other. What is alpha personality in human being?
The term "alpha male/female" is sometimes applied to humans to refer to a man who is powerful through his/her courage and a competitive, goal-driven, "take charge" attitude. With their bold approach and confidence "alpha males/female" are often described as charismatic. While "alpha males/females" are often overachievers and recognized for their leadership qualities, their aggressive tactics and competitiveness can also lead to resentment by others. (source : wikipedia)
Talking about resentment, they also found that for each 16-point rise in a woman’s IQ, her marriage prospects declined by 40%, but the man’s chances of marriage increased by 35% with each rise.  read more

So, can a relationship between alpha female and beta male works? Experience talk, I had some alpha-alpha relationship where there are two heads want to take charge of everything, for several times the relationship didn’t work. It only consumed a lot of energy and drove our relationship into a very exhausting one, naturally one of them must lead and the other need to follow. Well if this alpha-alpha thing is already on your case, spare a big room to fit two tremendous ego then. I bet you will need more space for yourself and vice versa.
Now expand your mind, I didn’t mention specific gender on leadership role, either male or female can have this quality and no rule tells that one of them should be always 100% in charge of everything all the time. You can always exchange leadership position once in a while. Everybody needs a day off, even for a leader.

Now, if you’re talking about money, about female breadwinner, I have no comment on which way is the right way in a relationship. If you and your couple had issue on who’s making bigger income, maybe it’s time to re evaluate your value , mission ,vision and perspective about money. Because I think human is not a tool to make money , but money should work as a tool for human happiness. If you happy with the way you are, less or more, than let it be. Happiness is the final goal for each person. The only problem is the stereotype in our society, we were told (or may I say brainwashed) since we’re a kid that a man should provide his wife. Again, re evaluate your entire value and anything that has been told to you; has them had any relevance on your own description of happiness?

Live freely!

Tuesday, 30 November 2010

The idea of happiness

I'm currently reading Dalai Lama's "The Art of Happiness"

What is happiness? As a normal girl I had listed Kate Spade and Manolo Blahnik on my achievement list since my first year of college. Years went by, As I was sipping my cosmopolitan after I got a job to pay the rent (and the cosmopolitans) , I was thinking to make my first credit card, forgetting the fact that I once promised myself that I would never ever even consider to live with that symbol of consumerism. Suddenly emptiness rushed in. I almost failed to recall my own principle since I was a kid. Began to think “What is happening with me?” I felt purposeless. My life has become a series of craving list. What’s next? Maybe the next time I woke up I could be a gold digger, luring wealthy men without even recognized it in the name of materialism. Hell of a nightmare, I don’t want to be a low person. I don’t want to be a homo consumericus and lose control over myself. Wait a minute, I think I’ve been in this situation… let’s rewind a bit

I was an active smoker from 1999 to 2005. Nicotine was a good friend of mine. It helped me to get through exams and bad moods, or so I thought. Until one night I was out of pack in the middle of the night and the entire store was closed. I felt so depressed. As if nicotine had become a master and I was the slave. I felt like I was out of control over myself, so dependent and weak. I hated it a lot. It was hurting my ego as a homo sapient. It really encouraged me to quit. That was enough.
On the credit card case, I was fooled by society’s stereotypes about symbol of success. Home ownership, car ownership, wealth, fame, just to keep up with the Joneses may I say. What about Mahatma Gandhi? He had less possession but I think he’s a great person, even greater than the Joneses. He’s a man of impact. If someone give away his possessions and dare to become a Tibetan monk as his calling, live happily to the fullest, I think he is a success man.

Mahatma Gandhi left only little possesion, but a lot of change to the world 

So what is happiness ?

I read this amazing post about minimalism from freestylemind

“Modern society has trained us to believe that happiness comes from the things we own. Million of dollars of corporate money are spent every single day just to maintain this belief. But does happiness really comes from the number of things we own? I hardly think so.
If you try to associate happiness with the number of things you own, then happiness becomes an addiction that is outside of your control. Initially, you may experience a good feeling after buying something new, but eventually this feeling will start to fade until you reach a point where buying new stuff becomes an addiction, like alcohol or cigarettes”

Now stimulate your mind , what is happiness?
For me,
happiness is to live constantly like human ( homo sapiens; latin :means wise man ) should be, to live without silly addiction that is not necessary ( e.g shopping, nicotine, working, sex, or even a boy that is no good to you) , to be free and to be in full control of yourself. Happiness is not to be attached to things or someone, to live less and save more, more time and resources to do something else that is more important and have positive impact. Happiness is not about having tons of friends, happiness is not about laughter but the silence afterwards. Happiness is when you know everything about yourself holistically, your strength, weakness, overcome it and live to your fullest potential. Not only the satisfaction of needs, but happiness is a full awareness of what you’re doing, to treat human like human, to accept that every each of us is unique, compassion over empathy, and to embrace humanity. Happiness is to live like human among humans.

I believe this is different to each person in the world. I don't want to be self centered. I'm just a little part of the system. I imagine if all people were minimalists, a lot of bank and financial inst. will meet bankruptcy and a lot of people will be jobless. It's not good.
So, what’s yours?